"I do love knitting patterns."

Story: Mandy's Adventures at Hogwarts
Mary-Sue: Mandy Brocklehurst
DLI: None (Thank Jesus)
Backstory: Mandy Brocklehurst is a muggle-born, who is in the same year as Harry Potter, yet is in Ravenclaw.

Summary: It's not finished really, so it's just some girl named Mandy and her expierence going to Hogwarts. We see her get her letter, her go to Diagon Alley, her expierence on the train (she runs into Hermione Granger), being sorted, and her first day at Hogwarts. Of course, we'll probably never see an ending. The author hasn't updated this since August. Of 2002.

Analysis: It's just boring really. Since this story isn't finished (and probably never will be), there isn't anything to spark this up. It's just...the exposition of the plot chart. Just setting up the story, not taking us to the plot.
Also, Mandy is pretty much delightfully void of personality. When she practices a spell, then recieves a letter giving her a warning not do magic at home again, she doesn't question why, she doesn't go all Hermione have a panic attack about it being on her permanent record. She just...talks to her cat. The only hobbies we know of is that she reads fantasy books.
Also, there's one quote where the author is describing our Mary-Sue in favorable terms, kinda trying to make us think she is attractive. Not much of a shocker in Mary-Sue fanfic world. But Mandy Brocklehurst is a first year at Hogwarts. She's eleven years old. Here's the quote:

"Mandy was a medium sized girl but still was tall for an eleven year old. She had dark brown hair that curled behind her ears and fell almost to the small of her back. However, she was complimented the most on her blue eyes. Everyone said they looked like the bottom of some glistening pool. She didn't care how pretty everyone told her she was, she was one of the most shy girls at school. If she got to know someone, then she wasn't so worried around them and could be herself. Nevertheless, when she got around people she didn't know well she kept quiet and only talked when she had to."

I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I think we're supposed to think she's attractive.
And finally, let's notice the address of Mandy's Hogwarts Letter:

"Ms. M Brocklehurst
Glorious Bedroom Upstairs
20 Blackwater Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey"

I've never been to Little Whinging, or Surrey for that matter, so I can't comment on whether or not the possibilty she could've run into Harry Potter. But "Glorious Bedroom Upstairs"? Really? Since when is Dumbledore using adjectives? I mean, with Harry Potter, he addressed it to just "The Cupboard Under the Stairs". I guess he was just being polite, and not saying "The Shitty Cupboard Under the Stairs"
But I still love the fact that "Defense Against the Dark Arts" was called "Defense Against the Black Arts"
All in all, I don't think it's bad. The writing is meh. Mandy isn't that much of a Mary-Sue in my opinion. She just has zero personality. Granted, most Mary-Sues are the same way, but Mary-Sues are usually characters for the author to put themselves in the story, or the audience. Of course we're supposed to be Mandy, but it's not like she has a DLI, which is usally what Mary-Sues are for. They're for you, the reader, to imagine yourself shacking it up with your favorite male character of a fandom.

Notes: This story isn't finished. I would kinda like to see what happens, for some reason. Maybe I want to see Mandy redeem herself. I don't know.

#1 "A Flash of Gold" Review

Thank you for reading my review.