It's just an effingpink star

Sarah Palin has announced her resignment as Governor of Alaska!

This means the little kids can read Harry Potter again, and the wolves can run around without being shot from the sky! It's TEQIULA TIME!

Spam me with you best celebratory GIFs. Or, at least, announce your excitement, debate with me on why Sarah Palin was a good governor (any "She was hot!"s are forbidden) and, for those of you Alaskans out there, tell us how you feel.

I've been putting this off for a while, but I think it's time to say something.

Watch if you can keep your stomach down

There are so many things wrong this commercial, besides the obvious sexism. She's being faulted for eating a burger, and acts as if eating one burger is her "nasty little treat"

Then the fact that if this girl ate this burger as much as the commercial is implying, she wouldn't be able to have a body like that, unless she was bulimic. And yes, working out way too many hours in the gym does count as bulimia.

And let's not forget that it's Audrina Patridge, the worst actress of all on The Hills. Seriously, she's still smiling when she's supposed to be crying.

But worst of all, is that you guys actually agreed to let Carl's Jr use your song in this.
I'm not a huge fan of the phrase "sell-out", considering when we live in a recession, and no one's making money off of records, you can't really sell-out. My definition of the phrase is when you agree to appear in/allow a company to use your songs that you don't agree with their practices, or you don't like their product.
I am not going to use the phrase sell-out here, because you can't sell out in a recession.

But what made you decide that you guys fit perfectly in this commercial? Why would you guys think that your song fit perfectly in a back-drop with Audrina Patridge starring?

I am obviously a fan of you guys, and would love to reccommend you to anyone looking for good music. But all I want is an answer as to why you guys agreed to let Carl's Jr use your song in this commercial.

A studio exec tells Nia Vardalos "women don't go to movies."

As explained in the comments, maybe this jackass was saying women don't go to srs bns movies, or action flicks.
However, the last movie I went to was Pelham 123. And I am a sixteen-year-old female. In some cultures, I am a woman.
While the fact that films targeted towards women, like Sex and the City, Bride Wars, Mamma Mia, and *gulp* Twilight, did excellent at the box office seems to have gone past this guy's head.

If there's one thing I wish is that there was a good movie targetted towards women, that combined my desire to se a strong, yet realistic female lead, and my love of action. Maybe a good Wonder Woman film?

 

Burger King, stop. Please. Just stop.

365 Reasons to Party. (My birthday is Eddie Murphy's birthday.)

A list of some places to go to in NYC.

Meg Cabot blogs about Harry Potter. (Lavendar=Susan from Sunday School FTW.)

You need to see this video. Now.

That's all I got.

 

So not created by me.

Nickelodeon was debuting a new special for iCarly for about two weeks. It aired last night. The special was called "iGo to Hollywood". For a while, I was wondering "Why are they going to Hollywood? Is it another Web Awards?" When I tuned in, I soon found out. A show on the "Dingo" channel called "Totally Terry" has been stealing ideas from iCarly, like "Random Jumping!" and "Messing with Rupert", or the iCarly version "Random Dancing" and "Messing with Lewbert." So Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Spencer go to Hoillywood to confront the "Totally Terry" writers. Only when Spencer talks about the conspiracy theory that the Dingo company founder, Charles Dingo, froze his head and the company keeps it in the cellar of the Dingo studios when I realized, they're talking about Disney.

It started with a lawsuit Nick filed at Disney, over Hannah Montana. Apparently, Nick had originally thought of a show about a teenage boy who lives a secret life as a popstar. They then booted the idea, and Disney decided to start a show about a girl who lives a secret life as a popstar.

Then came a situation over at the MTV Movie Awards. Apart from the seating drama caused by stars on The Hills and the stars of the Twilight franchise, apparently, none of the Nick stars could be seated by the Disney stars, because a rep for Nick said Disney kids were "tainted." So tainted, in fact, if Miranda Cosgrove was less than 20 feet away from Miley Cyrus, Miranda would've spontanieously exploded during the ceremony.

And now, the final blow. Once the "Totally Terry" writers refuse to quit stealing from iCarly, Spencer and Freddie sneak into the cellar, and steal Charles Dingo's frozen head, and threaten to show the head on iCarly and "thank" the Totally Terry writers for giving them the head. There is a conspiracy theory that Walt Disney cryoginically froze himself, and his frozen body is hidden in Cinderella's castle in Disneyland. This was even parodied on Family Guy. So obviously, I am not making this shit up. Someone else is.

I want to hear you guys' opinions on this. I would also like a new hit single from Girl and Girl 2. So, I give you permission to make dumbasses of yourselves in the comments. And, go.

I think, for everyone here, I should not comment on posts, get involved in QOTD, just for a while.

Just yesterday, my dog was hit by a car when I took him for a walk. Peter Piper, our youngest, to be exact.

No need to worry, he is still alive, miraculously. His eye popped out, so he'll only have one eye, but dashunds hve super noses, so he can adapt to life with one eye, and they had to remove a lot of teeth, so he'll have to eat softer food now. His ear and tongue is badly scraped up, but that will heal.

I just don't think I can be any bit of a patient, kind person right now with all this happening. So, for a little bit, I'm putting my status on the Internet as a spectator. I'll post something for Father's Day, I'll look at other people's post, leave nothing more than a "Good Job!", maybe interact on less drama attracting forums.

This does not have to do with anyone on this site, it's just for my mentality, and for others.

Hope everyone has a good week.
Love,
Brittany

This is an assignment I had to do in choir. I got 100%, so I thought I'd share it with you guys. (I bleeped out my name for privacy)

---

Soundtrack to my Life

 

By Brittany F*****

---

 

All About Me

 

I have learned a lot about change and effort this year.

 

I have learned that if you want your dream to come true, you really have to work hard at it. If you want something, you have to aim for it yourself.

 

I also learned to appreciate life just as it is, and accept what you are given.

 

 

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

--Barack Obama

---

 

1.    "Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley

 

Just like any human being, I have been broken up with or just plain broken up with by the opposite sex. This song makes me feel powerful, or just makes me forget about boys and want to have fun.

 

"Betrayal is a thorny crown
You wear it well
Just like a king"

---

 

 2. "I Hear Music" by Billie Holiday

 

This song relaxes me, and reminds me of a child amazed by all the noise surrounding them.

 

"I hear music
Mighty fine music
The murmur of a morning breeze up there
The rattle of the milkman on the stair"

---

 

3. "Losing Sleep" by Charlotte Sometimes

 

This song, to me, is about trying to conquer things yourself, and feeling powerful, yet exhausted.

"Be the star you know you are
Don't you, Don't you dare fail
You can own that balance beam
Two steps forward towards make believe"

---

4. "In Paradisum" from Gabriel Faure's Requiem

 

This is my favorite movement from the Requiem written by Gabriel Faure. This song is the one I sang with the rest of the choir at Carnegie Hall.

"In paradisum deducant angeli in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres."

---

5. "Beware! Cougar!" by The Academy Is...

 

This song describes a romantic situation I had ongoing into this year.

 

"You taught me things I can't forget.
Positions that I don't regret.
I can't walk away, and I can't shake the taste."

---

6. "Merry Happy" by Kate Nash

 

This song is a good closing to a relationship. It says that while I enjoyed your company, I can be just fine on my own. This song is describing my current attitude towards a romantic interest.

 

 

"Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very, very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around"

---

7. "Money, Money, Money" by ABBA

 

I am growing up in a recession, having to cut corners, and am learning how to invest smartly with money. Currently, my life is ruled by money.

 

"Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world

Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world"

---

8. "Sixteen" by No Doubt

 

I turned sixteen years old this year, and a lot of things happened this year that opened up my world.

 

"You've had your little backyard
Protected by big walls
You didn't dare look over
'Cause you've been too small"

---

9. "Out There" from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

This song expresses Quasimodo's desire to see more of the world, and get outside of his "prison" that is the bell tower of Notre Dame. While I am not in the exact same position as Quasimodo, my desire is just the same.

 

"All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me"

---

10. "Pressure" by Paramore

 

 

This song is about feeling stress, and just about to explode. Obviously, as someone with Asperger's Syndrome, I feel this way quite often.

 

"Cause I fear I might break
and I fear I can't take it"

---

11. "Ex-Girlfriend Syndrome" by Charlotte Sometimes

 

To me, this song is about being with someone you should stay away from, you know you need to stay away from them, yet they keep you coming back for more.

 

"With a note from my head
Opposite of what my heart said"

---

Credits

 

Front, Back, and Inside Cover Pictures taken by Brittany F*****

"Losing Sleep" picture courtesy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"Out There" picture courtesy of Disney

"Ex-Girlfriend Sydrome" picture courtesy of Lost

All other picture credits unknown

 

Rilo Kiley appears courtesy of Warner Bros. Records

Billie Holiday appears courtesy of Columbia Records

Charlotte Sometimes appears courtesy of Geffen Records

The Academy Is... appears courtesy of Fueled By Ramen Records

Kate Nash appears courtesy of Fiction Records

ABBA appears courtesy of Atlantic Records

No Doubt appears courtesy of Interscope Records

Paramore appears courtesy of Fueled By Ramen Records

 

---

 

1.   "Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley

2.   "I Hear Music" by Billie Holiday

3.   "Losing Sleep" by Charlotte Sometimes

4.   "In Paradisum" from Gabriel Faure's Requiem

5.   "Beware! Cougar!" by The Academy Is...

6.   "Merry Happy" by Kate Nash

7.   "Money, Money, Money" by ABBA

8.   "Sixteen" by No Doubt

9.   "Out There" from Disney's The Hunchback from Notre Dame

10.  "Pressure" by Paramore

11.  "Ex-Girlfriend Syndrome" by Charlotte Sometimes

 

---

Each line break represents a different page.

I just have to say that this was the best project ever.

 

Why do people act as if the dreaded pink star is the root of all evil?

It's just a pink star that goes under all my comments. It's not like it makes my opinion more valid.

I got this badge way back over a year ago in October, after the Halloweenies blew up. I have disagreed with many of the staff members on many things. And yet? I still have this pink star.

I am not saying that it's the coolest damn thing in the world. It's just a badge. It means nothing.

So, you all voted, and you asked me to review Lion King 2 instead of Little Mermaid 2. Thank you.

The Lion King II: Simba's Pride is the sequel to The Lion King. It starts where we left off in the first film: Simba and Nala presenting their new cub, Kiara.

Like how The Lion King was based off of Shakespeare's Hamlet, The Lion King II is also based off a Shakespeare play: Romeo and Juliet.
You are probably thinking this is going to bad just by that first sentence. But don't worry. Read on, and I'll assure, that this is actually pretty good.

Simba is king, and is trying his hardest to follow in his father's footsteps. However, in the film, he is a little judgemental towards the Outsiders, or lions still loyal to Scar. He banished them, and forbids them to enter the Pride Lands. He even tells Kiara to "never turn your back on an Outsider." However, it was Scar who killed his father, tried to kill him, ruined the Pride Lands, so his hatred towards Zira is understandable.

Speaking of Zira, she plays our antagonist. To learn more about her, go here.

Kiara, obviously plays our Juliet. However, Kiara has a strong independent streak, is fun loving, and is also a good flirt. And she doesn't immediately fall for Kovu. They first meet when they are kids, and they want to be friends, instead of dating. When she gets older, she goes for a hunt, nearly dies, and that's when she meets Kovu again. She's not as friendly, until she remembers him. Then she starts to fall. She is also smart. When Kovu wants to run away, she advises that they stop their tribes from fighting.

Kovu plays our Romeo, and, whil being just as charming, comes from a tougher life than Romeo. From this life, Kovu has become an excellent hunter. He hasn't had much fun in his life, considering his whole childhood was spent training to kill Simba. At first, he is headstrong to stay to his lifelong plan. Then, he begins to fall for Kiara. And that's when things get complicated. He keeps trying to find a way to tell Kiara that he was part of a plot to kill her father, and that he has begun to love her.

Timon and Pumbaa have a stronger role in this film, as Kiara's babysitter. They also help Simba tell off Zira back to the Outlands, and fight in the war of the two clans. Nala is much more maternal in this film, and wise. However, it is clear that Vitani and Nala have a fierce rivalry, yet that is never explained. Nuka is resentful against Kovu being the "Chosen One", and is constantly trying to impres his mother, to the point of death. Rafiki plays our Friar Lawrence here, trying to bring Kiara and Kovu closer together in hopes to bring the feud to an end.

The film came out only four years after the original Lion King, and the animation is actually good. The songs are good too.
There is only one problem with this film: Am I supposed to believe that Zira, who is so loyal to Scar, she actually smiles as she is dying because she will be with him again, had an affair with another lion and got pregnant? Or...maybe...Zira was raped by a Pride Lander, thus making her even angrier, and Scar felt sorry for Kovu being concieved by rape, and chose him to lead on?

But, it is a pretty good movie. I am glad to have reviewed it.

This is the second in a series honoring the Female Disney Villains. We honor them for spicing things up with their evilness, and fierceness. You go girl!

Our second one today comes from a highly acclimed direct-to-video sequel to the Lion King:
Zira from The Lion King II: Simba's Pride

Zira is the widow of Scar, whose son, Kovu, is destined to rule the Outsiders, and lead them back into rule on Pride Rock. Her voice actress was Suzanne Pleshette, yet it is unknown who her facial features might have been based on. Skinny body, sunken-in eyes? I have one guess.

In the first movie, when Scar was in the throne, she was Scar's lioness. They had two cubs together, Nuka, who, played by Andy Dick, is jealous of Kovu and desperate for attention, and Vitani, who proudly helps her mother with her plans. Smewhere, something must've happened, because Kovu is not actually Scar's son. Maybe Zira was raped by another brown-tinted lion. Maybe she had an affair. Maybe Scar couldn't concieve a third child, so she used some lion sperm to concieve a third child. We don't know. Point is, she gives birth to Kovu, and before Simba returns to reclaim the throne, Scar chooses him to carry on the throne.

Her motivation, is for her son, Kovu, to kill Simba and take back the Pride Lands in Scar's honour. Her plan goes halfway. Until Kovu decides he loves Simba's daughter, Kiara, more. War ensues, Kovu is banished from both the Pride Lands and the Outsiders. War ensues again, until Kiara and Kovu stop it. Zira is falling off a cliff, Kiara offers her help, but Zira falls instead. R.I.P. Zira.

In the movie, she sings one song, that, like Scar's song in the Lion King, reveals her evil plan. It is titled "My Lullaby", but don't expect sweet cooing. Hell no. There are even huge drumbeats of war in it. And, just like Scar, she ends her song, on top of cliff. Check it out here.

In case you can't tell, Zira has not taken Scar's death well. She constantly talks about him throughout the movie, and even prays to him at Nuka's funeral, asking Scar to watch over Nuka. Even when she's dying, she is smiling, because she will finally be with Scar again. At least she didn't become a zombie like a certain girl in a certain book series.

So, we honour Zira, the woman who juggles vengeance, plotting evil plans, mourning Scar, and parenting three cubs. You go girl!

This is the first in a series of honoring the Female Disney Villains. Because we are honoring those who didn't fit into a cute little dress and played princess. You go girl!

Our first installment starts off with a big bang:
Ursula from The Little Mermaid

Ursula is the sea witch who is exiled and lives in a cave with two eels named Flotsam and Jetsam. Her voice actress was Pat Carroll, and was based on the drag queen Divine. She is perhaps the only female Disney character who is obese. And she doesn't care.

Her story is simple. She lived in the palace, and was exiled when she tried to take over the throne, and was then banished from Atlantica. In some deleted material, it is stated that she is King Triton's sister. However, in canon material, it is unknown why she lived in the palace. In a Disney Princess Press book, My Side of the Story, Ursula tells us that she had an unrequited love for King Triton.

Her motivation is simple: She wants to be queen of Atlantica. When she comes across Ariel, she begins her plan. When she sees that Ariel is desperately in love with a human she just met, she decides to lure Ariel to her cave, and turn her into a human. She gives an agreement with Ariel: "I have your voice, you can 'get to know' this young man for three days, and if he doesn't find you hot, then you turn into the shriveling thing you see lying around here."

When the Prince that Ariel has fallen head over heels for almost kisses her, Ursula turns herself into a human herself, but uses Ariel's voice and some hypno sea magic to put Prince Eric in a trance, and prevent Ariel from getting kissed.

The plan backfires in a long way, but then she trades Ariel's agreement for King Triton. She then becomes Queen of Atlantica. But then Prince Eric stabs her in the chest with a sunken ship. Ursula, R.I.P.

In the TV series, Ursula also makes appearances in four episodes. Her appearances in the prequel is her as the antagonist. Her motivation is the same. To become Queen of Atlantica.

Ursula, in the film, sings one song, and does she make the best out of it. She sings the song, "Poor Unfortunate Souls", and boy, is that song huge. This is such a huge song, even the Jonas Brothers had to cover it.
See the song for yourself here and if you're curious, see the Jonas Brothers cover here.

So, we honor Ursula, the Fierce Sea-Bitch, and all your cool spells and such. You go girl!

This rant applies only to those who claim "pro-life" status and support a senseless war and other anti-life activities. For those who are "pro-life" in the full definition, I hope I do not offend you. You just keep on rocking.
This rant may also include some religious aspects. If you are of different religious beliefs, I truly respect that, and believe the same rights apply to you. And please bear with me.

So, here is our scenario:

Dr. George Tiller was recently shot dead at a church where he was ushering at. Dr. Tiller was one of the few doctors in the country who performed late-term abortions.

Now, you would think the people that certain "pro-life" touters would feel ashamed of this, or even outraged that the sanctity of the church was disrespected.
For some loud few, not so.

One "pro-life" organization has said that Dr. Tiller "reaped what he sowed". Bill O'Reilly has nicknamed him "Dr. Killer" since his death. And I'm sure many more have and will say more disgusting phrases about this subject.

Now, maybe I constantly give some the benefit of the doubt, but I expected you people to treat Dr. Tiller's murder with respect. After all, you do claim to be "pro-life", which means they are "for life".
But it seems you are only for the life of an unborn fetus, or at least those who agree with you.

If you are for the torturing of prisoners of war, support a war that has absolutely no meaning behind it, even think someone deserves to die for any reason, you are not pro-life.
Quit calling yourself pro-life, because you are obviously not. Instead, why don't you call yourself pro-fetus. Because all you care about is the fetus which is inside an actual living, breathing, thinking, feeling person.
Pro-life is perhaps the most hypocritical thing you could call yourself in this situation. You need to drop that title if you actually think someone deserves to die, even if they brutally raped and killed someone.

Also, it is clear that you have no respect for the sanctity of the church you so highly praise.
A person has the right to feel safe and respected when they enter any house of worship. A church, a synagouge, a mosque, a kingdom hall, whatever. When that human being walks into that church, they have a right to feel that they are not going to be murdered.

 

For those of you actual pro-lifers, or pro-choice, thank you for reading. For the hypocrites, I hope my message came across.

After watching the Nostalgia Critic's review of "Full House" I began to wonder "Where is Scott Weinger now?"

Well, it's time to explore whereabouts now in this first edition of "Where the Hell Are They?"

For some background information, Scott Weinger was most noted for DJ's boyfriend, "Steve" on Full House, and the speaking voice of Aladdin in the Disney film, Aladdin. Obviously. I mean, they referenced it in Full House when they go to Disneyland.

He also had a role in the series "Family Man", also a Miller-Boyett Production.

So, now that we know who Scott Weinger is, let's find out where he is.

In 1994, he attended Harvard University (this beats your Stanford U any day DJ! Ha!) He has also starred in a horror film called Shredder (the villain from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?) and produced an award winning short called The Cricket Player.

He also did voice work for a Disney 3-D film Mickey's PhilharMagic which is in Walt Disney World Resort and Hong Kong Disneyland. He also did voice work for Osamu Tezuka's Metropolis. And he's still doing Aladdin for the English versions Kingdom Hearts.

He also has written for the shows Like Family and What I Like About You, where he evn guest-starred as Allison Munn's boyfriend. And, in 2006, he did a guest stint on the comedy series, Scrubs.

So, now we know where the hell is Scott Weinger is. Good day.

This summer, we're going to take the female Disney Villains, and exalt them on high. And no female villain is off limits.
Whether they were from the original, a sequel, or even on some Toon Disney show, we will praise them and their efforts.

Up on the list?

Maleficent
Lady Tremaine
Madame Mim
Zira
Ursula
Mirage
Magica DisSpell
Yzma
Queen
Narissa
Cruella DeVil
Queen of Hearts

And trust me, if you can think of any more, feel free to message me, and I'll add it to this list.

You may wonder why I am doing this.

Well, we often honor Disney Villains as a whole. And sure, many agree that some of the best Disney Villains are Maleficent, Queen, Lady Tremaine, Cruella DeVil and Ursula, but so many others are slighted. So I vow, to praise all Disney Female Villains, from the mainstream, to the little knowns.

And I stress this last part, it is hard for me to come up with all these badass ladies on my own. So you can help by telling me of some other ladies out there.

WARNING: This will contain foul language, and sheer anger.

You know what? Before you go whining about how I'm attacking you for "speaking your opinion" (by the way, opinions aren't the most harmless thing in the world, and saying "I don't like gay people being gay towards me." is hateful if you wouldn't call some ugly guy liking you "being straight" towards you.) I would like to take out my mental tape recorder and show you all the things you've said:

Day after Obama's Election: "I'm scared for the country because he's a Muslim."
Nothing having to do with it at all: "I don't mean to sound rascist, but I don't think white women can be curvy."
Your frequent use of the word "retard" and then you getting all butthurt because I was "making fun of the sopranos" when I was simply talking to the teacher about a part I was having trouble withh.

And that's just two of the terrible things you've said. So we see you are religiously intolerant, anti-gay, even racist, and have no fucking manners at all.

And to that last statement I give you this statement:

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

So can you please stop "offending" me, and just never talk again?

Story: Mandy's Adventures at Hogwarts
Mary-Sue: Mandy Brocklehurst
DLI: None (Thank Jesus)
Backstory: Mandy Brocklehurst is a muggle-born, who is in the same year as Harry Potter, yet is in Ravenclaw.

Summary: It's not finished really, so it's just some girl named Mandy and her expierence going to Hogwarts. We see her get her letter, her go to Diagon Alley, her expierence on the train (she runs into Hermione Granger), being sorted, and her first day at Hogwarts. Of course, we'll probably never see an ending. The author hasn't updated this since August. Of 2002.

Analysis: It's just boring really. Since this story isn't finished (and probably never will be), there isn't anything to spark this up. It's just...the exposition of the plot chart. Just setting up the story, not taking us to the plot.
Also, Mandy is pretty much delightfully void of personality. When she practices a spell, then recieves a letter giving her a warning not do magic at home again, she doesn't question why, she doesn't go all Hermione have a panic attack about it being on her permanent record. She just...talks to her cat. The only hobbies we know of is that she reads fantasy books.
Also, there's one quote where the author is describing our Mary-Sue in favorable terms, kinda trying to make us think she is attractive. Not much of a shocker in Mary-Sue fanfic world. But Mandy Brocklehurst is a first year at Hogwarts. She's eleven years old. Here's the quote:

"Mandy was a medium sized girl but still was tall for an eleven year old. She had dark brown hair that curled behind her ears and fell almost to the small of her back. However, she was complimented the most on her blue eyes. Everyone said they looked like the bottom of some glistening pool. She didn't care how pretty everyone told her she was, she was one of the most shy girls at school. If she got to know someone, then she wasn't so worried around them and could be herself. Nevertheless, when she got around people she didn't know well she kept quiet and only talked when she had to."

I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I think we're supposed to think she's attractive.
And finally, let's notice the address of Mandy's Hogwarts Letter:

"Ms. M Brocklehurst
Glorious Bedroom Upstairs
20 Blackwater Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey"

I've never been to Little Whinging, or Surrey for that matter, so I can't comment on whether or not the possibilty she could've run into Harry Potter. But "Glorious Bedroom Upstairs"? Really? Since when is Dumbledore using adjectives? I mean, with Harry Potter, he addressed it to just "The Cupboard Under the Stairs". I guess he was just being polite, and not saying "The Shitty Cupboard Under the Stairs"
But I still love the fact that "Defense Against the Dark Arts" was called "Defense Against the Black Arts"
All in all, I don't think it's bad. The writing is meh. Mandy isn't that much of a Mary-Sue in my opinion. She just has zero personality. Granted, most Mary-Sues are the same way, but Mary-Sues are usually characters for the author to put themselves in the story, or the audience. Of course we're supposed to be Mandy, but it's not like she has a DLI, which is usally what Mary-Sues are for. They're for you, the reader, to imagine yourself shacking it up with your favorite male character of a fandom.

Notes: This story isn't finished. I would kinda like to see what happens, for some reason. Maybe I want to see Mandy redeem herself. I don't know.

#1 "A Flash of Gold" Review

Thank you for reading my review.

I am so sick and tired of sweating and crying at midnight trying to get you to work. I am so sick of having to use TWO REMOTES for ONE TV. Especially one that works just as well as atenna TVs.

I would have zero problems with this is if I could use a channel changer on the side, or at least the other remote. BUT NO. Now I'm stuck watching infomercials about some work-out program that's probably going to make me anorexic. You didn't think that one through, did you?

I wouldn't feel so bad if I wasn't forced to do this. But I was.
I wouldn't feel so bad if the remote I have to use change a channel worked. But FUCKING NO.

And I ask again WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF THIS?

This is worse than when I was stuck watching America's Funniest Home Videos because it took two days to switch to goddamn DTV.

DTV Switch, if you were a person, I would make your new human life so miserable. You would've wished you never happened.

So, DTV switch, in conclusion, I hate you with a passion, your remotes are just about as competent as my mom's former employees, and you can go turn human, and die.

Or to the people behind this revolutionary idea, I will express my feelings, as such:

GOOD FUCKING DAY YOU INCOMPETENT ASSHOLES!

After Rihanna has finally cut Chris Brown loose, what is a girl to do? Therapy? No! Vacation with a fellow pop star, of course! Fun in the sun...

I have no idea why people trust Perez Hilton with their up-to-date gossip news. He's not funny. He's not clever. He's a terrible writer, even in the realm of gossip. And he's a flat-out misogynist.

I know. "Isn't it a little strong to say he hates women, Brittany?" It probably is. But I have proof that he hates women.

Tila Tequila decided to use her breasts for charity, and making a breast cast for the "Keep A Breast Foundation". She was dressed in her underwear for that reason. He called her a "whore"
Remember when Katy Perry did the same thing? Did he call her a whore? Oh no. He commended her for her charity efforts.
We are not going to bring up the fact that Katy Perry actually does more than just have a million MySpace friends. The only reason he didn't call Katy Perry a whore is because he likes to promote every thing she does.
Proof

Even Lily Allen has called out Perez Hilton on his sexist ways.
Source

A thin woman in Hollywood breathes. According to Perez, she must be pregnant!
Really, there's a lot more to being pregnant than having a belly. Try swollen breasts and her being flushed. Tell me, does Kate Moss have swollen breasts? No.
Now tell me. Why would a woman wear that tight of dresses when she's pregnant? That would kill the baby.
Read this

And finally, Perez Hilton's creepy obsession with Miley Cyrus.
Perez Hilton frequently insists that Miley Cyrus is a "slut", "whore" and draws penises around her face. When he talks about her in person, he acts as if Miley's the bitchy high school cheerleader who stole Perez Hilton's boyfriend. Perez Hilton bullies a sixteen-yeard old girl, has started his bullying since she was fifteen, and he is currently 31. This is really creepy
Seriously, look at the way he talks about her here. It scares me.

I find it really weird that he is so misogynist, considering his site started out as a shrine to Paris Hilton. Now? It's his own little sexist carousel, with Katy Perry being his only exception to his women-bullying ways.

Perez Hilton, you do not need to hate women just because you are a gay man.

Rumour has it that for New Moon, Robert Pattinson had to sign a contract saying he would shave, bathe and wear deodorant.
While this isn't confirmed, it's not a far stretch.

Robert Pattinson has admitted in interviews that he doesn't shower. InTouch magazine reports that one of the issues on the New Moon set is that RPattz is stinking up the set, and the crew is disgusted.

Girls, we need to have a talk. What is so attractive about him? Please tell me.

I mean, you don't need a man to provide for you. You don't need a man to make you. It doesn't matter if he's rich. It doesn't matter if he's good-looking. It doesn't matter if he is the most loved man in town. But it does matter that he practices proper hygiene.

BTW, that last part was a joke. Cool off.

This installment's story here.

Story: A Flash of Gold
Mary-Sue: Lillian Cannonbergh
DLI: Harry Potter
Backstory: Lillian Cannonbergh, or Lily for short, is transferring from some elite wizard school in America, to Hogwarts. She was raised in an all magic city in America, even though her mother is a Muggle. Her father is a super famous Auror (even Ron and Hermione know who he is) who was sent from the Fifty Nifty to fight Voldemort, after the Death Eaters killed her mother.

Summary: Lily has been sent to go to school at Hogwarts, and on the train, she shares a cabin with Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Surprise. Harry and Ron become attracted to her, especially Harry. After her pleasant welcome to the castle, she weeps by the fire over her dead mom, and when Harry comforts her, they kiss. They then start dating, Until Yule Ball (it's going to be held more than just Triwizard Tournament, FYI) when Voldemort sets up some Labyrinth trap, and tries to kill Lily. Then Harry does (fuck, I don't know) and he faints for three days, and awakens to news that Voldemort's dead, and the Weasleys are adopting him.

Analysis: The plot chart for it is kinda like Twilight. It's just little romance stuff (which is supposed to be cute) and then BAM! the plot. Also, Harry and Ron become kinda abusive. When Lily says she can't make it to Yule Ball (before she explained that she saw something sparkly in her crystal ball), Harry yells that just because all the boys want to have sex with her, doesn't mean she can just toy with his heart. This makes Lily run up to the dormitory, crying. When Hermione and Krum kiss, Ron yells at Hermione also, and even calls her a whore.
 Now let's talk about Lily. This girl has no flaws. At all. Or at least, detrimental flaws brought up by the author. However, when Hermione asks the boys why they're so hard over Lily, all they can come up with is that she's pretty, nice, and cute (as in ditzy.) She's also smarter than Hermione, without actually cracking open a non-fiction book besides for class. Being the new and prettier Hermione Granger just comes naturally to her. And any boy at Hogwarts that has hit puberty is attracted to her. Dean, Seamus and Neville spend the first night back discussing who'd have a better chance with her, and reached the conclusion she'd have a boyfriend by tomorrow. Oh, and she's a vegetarian, and watching her weight.
 Now let's talk logic. Even though her father has imprisoned many Death Eaters, Malfoy has no second thoughts about wanting to bone her. Since Malfoy's father is a devout Death Eater, he should despise Lily, or at least, try and fight off his lust for her ala Judge Claude Frollo. Back to Lily's smartness, how can she be smarter than Hermione if she doesn't read as much as Hermione does? And the resolving point of the story, where when Lily sees Harry in the hospital, she is shown to be wearing blood and mud on her still, even though it is mentioned that Harry was asleep/dead for three days. Did she not find time to make it to a shower? If I was covered in blood and mud, I would rush to the shower as soon as I could.

Mary-Sue Score: Lillian Cannonbergh got 77 points on the Mary-Sue Litmus Test. She is an "Irredeemable Sue".

Notes: Some Harry Potter fans reading this may want to complain that Malfoy was too busy with killing a certain person in the sixth book. Some may want to complain that Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes is in Diagon Alley, not Hogsmeade. Some may want to complain about several things. But of course, we can't. This story was published in 2003, and I'm pretty sure Half-Blood Prince hadn't come out then.

DLI: Designated Love Interest. The character in which our Mary-Sue is spiritually betrothed to. He always ends up with her in the end, no matter what.

All Mary-Sue Tests are done here at the "Mary-Sue Litmus Test"

Thank you for reading this.